As I sit here typing this I can't stop grinning. Seriously, I can't wipe the smile off my face. I've been living on the West Coast for two months now and I still feel like I need to pinch myself every day, it still feels that surreal! I mean never in a million years did I ever see myself loving (and moving to) another place more than Florida (you can read more about that here). But here I am….falling more and more in love with the West Coast all the time!
But that's not what this post is about. Well it kind of is because it falls into the ‘who's that girl' subject. So, let's dive on in shall we?
In September I participated in a challenge with some of my online business friends and there were a couple extra credit challenges given, asking those to be posted to your personal Facebook profile not in the private group. I was shocked to find a post I was tagged in:
Holy Shit! I never saw that coming or expected that someone sees me as such an inspiration. It brought me to tears to read Cindy's words and then to see the comments on top of it.
I feel like pinching myself again as I re-read what she posted because…
WHO THE HELL IS THAT GIRL?
The girl I USED to know…
That's not the girl I used to know! The girl that:
- was so negative, people unfollowed her on social media or didn't want to be around her anymore
- never took responsibility for anything – it was always everyone else's fault!
- stuffed feelings and didn't deal with anything by drinking every day
- didn't try anything new because ‘why? what's the point?'
- hated life and contemplated suicide on more than one occasion
- devalued herself, hated herself, didn't think she was worthy of anything good, so let men use her
- just scraped by because that was good enough
- had given up on herself and life and just didn't give a rats ass about anything anymore…until one morning, six years ago, she woke up from a black out drunk with another dude in her bed and realized she DID care and needed to start making some changes so she did.
The girl (woman) I am today…
Fast forward six years to the present and some days I look in the mirror and even though I see the same reflection I saw six years ago, it's an entirely different person – I'm an entirely different woman now than I was back then – and I love what I see.
I've worked hard to better myself and become the person I am today:
- the empowered woman that made her own decision to follow her heart and move to the West Coast
- the fun loving chic that is having so much fun trying new things like Aqua Fit and Yoga
- the sober gal (4 year and 7 months at the time I'm writing this!) that loves life without alcohol!
- the in love girl that attracted and chose a wonderful man that values me, respects me, treats me like a queen and loves me just as I am 🙂
- the girl that doesn't just get by anymore because that's NOT good enough! She wants more from life and biz.
- the gal that isn't letting old stories define her anymore
- the woman that is being more conscious and aware of everything around her and making decisions from those places
- the girl who chooses to face fear head on and not let it hold her back any longer
- the woman that finally loves herself
How did I do it?
First, admitting to myself I couldn't keep living the way I was and that changes needed to happen. Then admitting again to someone else I needed help. Then walking through the doors of AA and once again admitting I needed help because I couldn't do it on my own anymore. And then going to counseling and once again admitting I needed help because I didn't know any tools or resources to cope with life and things going on in my life. Journaling has also been a huge part of my life and a big help too. Lots of support from friends and AA sisters too. And of course, prayer and lots of it 😉
I'll leave you with this today…
I didn't share that Facebook post to brag. Instead, I shared it because I want you to know that change is possible. It's not easy – oh my lanta, it's so hard! And some days I still struggle with not wanting to put in the effort and work of continuing to better myself and stretch myself. But I'm living proof that when you do, awesome things happen and you start living a healthier happier life!
I invite you to pick one thing you want to do differently in your life and start working on it. I would be honored if you shared with me and others what you were going to work on – leave a comment if you feel led!