Sometimes experts give pretty crappy advice… in my not so humble opinion! So I'm handing out a crappy advice trophy this week!
In this case, I'm referring to a specific expert I've been one of their many raving groupies for over a year now and I'm backing up the term expert by the MASSIVE amounts of social followings, the amount of “groupies” in their community, six-figure business, etc.
I'm still one of their groupies and probably always will be. I'm just finding myself irritated and shaking my head at some of their advice/teachings. A plus to this, though, is that I'm putting into practice something I learned early on in AA meetings – ‘take what you need and leave the rest.'
Enter Crappy Expert Advice…
“You should only show your best self on social media. Don't post a picture without your hair and makeup done. Be dressed nice. Use filters to erase blemishes on your face and enhance beauty, only pose in ways that make your face and body look thinner. Oh and don't ever share that you're having a bad day or struggling with something.”
How do you feel about that?
Maybe you agree with it. Maybe you don't. Now let me tell you one more thing this expert preaches and teaches her groupies…
“You have to be authentic on social media to create connection with others because people don't connect with fake people pretending to be something/someone they're not.”
Talk about 2 contradictory pieces of advice!
Like what the actual f***?!
Talk about confusing your audience – well at least me – and contradicting yourself. That first statement screams FAKE to me – someone doing that does not seem at all authentic . Again, this is my not so humble opinion 😉
Now, having said that… you do you! If showing up all put together all the time is your normal, cool – keep doing you.
I think of the connections I have on social media and it's women showing up as themselves even if that means they're not put together all the time and they're having a bad day or struggling with something. I connect with those that are being raw, real, vulnerable, and authentic.
And now I feel like I need to mention something else: I get it, if you're let's say a realtor, for example, who sells to celebrities that purchase million plus dollar homes then yeah you probably do show up in a more professional put together manner. I guess what I'm getting at is – know your community and what showing up authentically for them/yourself means.
I LOVE that as a lifestyle blogger, podcaster, etc. I get to show up in a way that is 100% me – real, vulnerable, and sometimes messy! This IS what has attracted, and continues to attract, my community to me and my message.
Consequences From This Crappy Advice
I'm seeing other groupies now showing up on social media and apologizing if they're having an off day and they aren't put together. One gal even mentioned, in her post, ‘oh man I hope ____ doesn't see this because she'll give me hell for being on social media like this.'
Come on… really?!
That's so sad!
I've seen a few of the other groupies sharing on their social media profiles and also apologizing because they didn't have their hair done or makeup on and one gal even apologized for the bags under her eyes (she's a new freaking mom with a 4 month old! Of course she's gonna have bags under her eyes!).
Don't we have enough stress and “rules” on ourselves already ladies? Why are we letting an “expert” add even more pressure to us?
Just because this person is an expert does NOT mean that they give great advice all the time!
You do NOT have to apologize for showing up as YOURSELF!
Stop that shit!
Shake that shit off (this “expert advice”) and be you!
What about you? Has something an expert ever said left your skin crawling? I'd love to hear it! Leave a comment below and let's chat about this!
OH, that makes my skin crawl and I want to go stalk them and comment.
Living as your best self means living authentically and not having to live by the standards the patriarchal society set for us to keep us in our place.
F*CK THAT SH*T!
Here’s how I’ve been showing up for my clients…
Letting my grey grow out because I’m 48 and grey happens.
Not wearing make-up because my skin is amazeballs and why should I cover it up with makeup if I don’t wanna? (I totally want to somedays and do)
NEVER using a filter because that is FAKE AF IMO.
Thank you for taking a stand for body positivity which is all things about our bodies. Love you!
I love what you said, Val, about F*CK THAT SH*T! We get to have a choice in choosing whether we want to listen/follow along with what someone else is teaching/preaching. And sometimes even experts get it wrong… that no so humble opinion of mine sure has come out a lot the last several days 😉 But I’m with you – I don’t wear makeup if I don’t wanna! 98% of the time you’ll find me hair in a ponytail, no makeup and in leggings/tank tops. Very rarely am I “put together” because that’s just not realistic for me. I’ve embraced myself and learned that I get to do me and show up how I want 🙂
Well said Trish. I have read some similar comments and it really does inhibit and intimidate me when I think about appearing on camera in a live or on YouTube.
Thanks for commenting Fran! It is hard when there is messaging out there that makes us question ourselves and whether we should do something or not because of what others are preaching/teaching. I say, don’t let it intimidate you! You do you because there’s only one you and you rock at being yourself 🙂
Great article, Tish! Now I’m trying to figure out exactly WHO this is and where you follow her so closely! (I have some guesses about both:). Yes, I have completely disagreed with some experts at times, too. Good for you for speaking up! xoxo
Thanks for swinging by and leaving a comment Susan – appreciate it 🙂 I know, I know – it was kind of crappy of me to NOT mention the person’s name. And I did it for a reason, though. I don’t want my opinion/experience to mucky the water (how someone else experiences this person) because I put it into their head that the person is ‘wrong, bad’, etc.