Tish

Life Doesn’t Always Go According To Plan…

life doesn't always go according to plan.

Today I’m taking you on a little time travel, both past and into the “future”. Grab a cuppa something, cause this one’s a bit long…

June 2017

My son graduates high school and the time has come for me to move on to the next adventure and phase of life…head South to the Sunshine state.

You see, I had been talking about moving to Florida for several years. Everyone knew this was my dream because I had been talking about it for so damn long….four years at this point. People were getting tired of all the talk and no action I think 😉

But something always held me back. But low and behold, my darling 18 year old son said it best and called me out on my BS when he said:

Stop making excuses mom! I graduated, am an adult now and will be living my life, now you really don’t have any excuses for not going!

The last of my excuses had been ‘I can’t do anything until my kiddo graduates.’ Who knew that time would come so quick???

I started researching areas I would be interested in living, places to rent, etc. … because you know, this time I was going to do it, just get up and go!

But I found myself holding back yet again. I was feeling confused about whether that’s really what I wanted and how I would handle living there part time and escape the summer heat to live in Michigan…in the summer heat here 😉

Fast forward to October 2017

My sister takes a job as a traveling nurse with her first three month contract in Portland Oregon and asks if I would like to do a cross country road trip with her. I was a little wishy/washy about going, but then while talking to one of my closest friends (and smart coach!) I realized I was a HELL YES to taking this road trip. It was a chilly Northern Michigan Fall Day when we finished packing her car and headed out for the three day cross country road trip …

Day one was long, with not all that exciting views, landing us in Minneapolis, Minnesota for the night.

Day two was getting more exciting as the views changed and we started seeing things I don’t know how to describe. I don’t remember where we ended day two (Montana I want to say), I just remember we were both exhausted and excited that day three would be a bit longer but put us at our final destination – my sister’s apartment in Portland, Oregon!

Day three is something I will never be able to put into words or explain how amazing, magnificent, majestic (I think you catch my drift lol), and breath taking the views were. We both uttered “holy shit, wow, did you see that?, oh my lord it’s beautiful” more times than I could count!

Because I had loved Florida so much I never knew I could fall in love with mountains, greenery, ranch land, and hills…but I did. As we were coming into Oregon and the Columbia River…man, it gives me chills just remembering those views! It truly was breathtaking and nothing like I had ever seen before. And the Fall colors – oh good lord, Michigan has nothing on the Fall colors out west!

These are just a handful of the many pics I took (and trust me, pictures do NOT do any of it justice!). And the picture at the top, with the title on it, is picture of just one of the gorgeous views in Oregon that I fell in love with!:

(Note: if you click on the images, they will open up in a new window full size)

A Huge Mental / Heart Shift Happened

But something happened on that last day of our drive…my heart shifted and changed. I came to a huge realization, and one that wasn’t easy to admit!

I realized the only reason I wanted to live in Florida was because that was all I had known.

That’s the only place I had traveled (other than visiting Arizona in the 6th grade, Tennessee in 9th grade & Hawaii in 10th grade) and it felt comfortable and ‘safe’.

I found myself muttering out loud:

I could live here easier than I could live in Florida.

Whoa…wait a minute. What did I just say? Did that really come out of my mouth? Yep, it sure did and it felt peaceful, like suddenly I was ok with where I could eventually find myself living. It didn’t feel forced or hard, it just felt good. And the below image fits so perfectly with what I was feeling that day…

*Photo credit: Positive Outlooks on Facebook*

Little did I know God had a reason (as if I should ever doubt his plan/purpose for the way things go!) for no to Florida, and yes to the road trip with my sister!

Right before I was to head back to Michigan, my dating app dinged notifying me I had a new message. I forgot it was location based and if your location was turned on on your phone, you popped up in searches for locals. Anyway, I had a new message from a gentleman in the area. I wasn’t interested in a long-distance relationship and let him know I was from Michigan. Curiosity got the best of me and I started looking through some of the men’s profiles…knowing I wouldn’t contact any of them or that nothing would come of it because, well the distance thing.

Hmmm…little did I know 😉

A gentleman messaged me, I read what he wrote (he actually wrote in full sentences, didn’t send a d*ck pick – more on that here – and I liked his profile, aside from a few silly things I said no to (bald head, short, and Mexican – no I’m not being racist, that decision was based on the way an ex who was Mexican treated me). Those were “no’s” in my book because I had an ideal of what my man would look like and be like. But I decided to respond to him because I was intrigued and because a friend had asked me if I would simply be willing to be open to new experiences and possibilities!

Responding to that one message, when I would have normally said no and ignored him because he didn’t “fit” my ideal was the best decision ever. I was open to giving him a chance, just getting to know him on a friend level..but that quickly changed the more we got to know one another.

Jaime and I have been doing the long-distance thing for 9 months now. I’ve been blessed to travel out there frequently – it’s hard for him to get the time off work & I have the freedom/flexibility to travel. Long-distance is hard, but so worth it.

But now, the time has come where the long distance thing is about to change…

Fast forward to the future – August 2018

The time has come to close this chapter of my life and small town Northern Michigan living where all I’ve ever known is – family, friends, my son, my AA recovery community. It’s been my safety net, my security blanket. But it’s also been the one place that seems to hold me back too (but that’s a different story).

I have to turn the keys to my apartment in by the end of August and then I’ll be embarking on another cross country road trip…only this time the final destination is a little different – Vancouver, Washington and I’m staying put 🙂

I love him. I love us.

And I love where our adventures and the next phase of life are going to take us! This is one time I can say I am so thankful that life doesn’t always go according to plan… err, at least according to my plans 😉

Are You Living Life To The Fullest?

By Tish Tagged With: Dealing With Negative Thoughts, Self Limiting Beliefs

Do you ever wonder if you’re thriving or surviving? This has always been an intriguing question to me because I never really understood what it meant. I finally went and looked up the definition of thrive (duh, why didn’t I think of that sooner???) and it makes perfect sense now:

1. to prosper; be fortunate or successful.
2. to grow or develop vigorously; flourish
(Source: Dictionary.com)

I don’t really care for definition #1, but #2 – yep, that hits the nail on the head for me when I think of thriving in terms of life, business, relationships, etc.! Another way to think about thriving that makes sense to me is living life to the fullest; I mean if you’re thriving wouldn’t you be living life to the fullest? I think so.

In 45 Ways To Live Life To The Fullest, numbers 6, 7, & 8 are ones I really try to work on every. single. day. #6 is especially hard because that’s what I did for 90% of my life, so changing that habit is hard. Then again, change is just hard (but worth it). And #12 on the list goes right along with 6.

Want to know how live life to the fullest? Head on over and read 45 Ways To Live Life To The Fullest now.

Life Is Short, Isn’t It Time To Say YES?

By Tish Tagged With: Dealing With Negative Thoughts, Self Limiting Beliefs

I just recently found Henrik Edberg and got lost perusing several of his blog posts. Lots of awesome, inspirational posts but I especially liked How to Live a Happy Life: 10 Things to Say Yes to Starting Today. The blurb below really caught my attention:

When you say no you can safely stay within your comfort zone. You don’t have to fear failing or being rejected. The scary unknown and sometimes difficult change can be avoided.

But if you say yes your life can expand and deepen. The yes allows you to open up your life to more happiness.

It made me stop and think about all the times I chose to say no for the exact reason Henrik mentioned above. Saying no is often the easy way out for me. But I’ve started trying to say yes to things I really want to do but have been nervous to do in the past for fear of failure, being rejected, etc.

I remember how last summer I was brave enough to say YES to going kayaking with a few friends. I had wanted to try it for a few summers but was scared because I didn’t know how to do it, what would happen if I tipped over, and because I’m a big girl so I was afraid kayaks weren’t built for big/heavy people. But OH MY LORD did I ever have the best time ever. I loved kayaking so much! Let’s just say it was not super comfortable at my size – getting in and out was NOT easy/pleasant at all – but that experience was sooooo worth it.

So, I’m ready to start saying YES to even more things. Life is so short – I don’t want to regret not doing things because I was afraid to say yes! I absolutely love what Henrik lists for #1 and #2 on his list of things he recommends saying yes to starting today. Head on over and read How to Live a Happy Life: 10 Things to Say Yes to Starting Today now.

What’s something you’ve wanted to say yes to but haven’t because it’s easier to say no and stay in your comfort zone?

Loving Yourself Even When You Don’t Feel Like It

By Tish Tagged With: Dealing With Negative Thoughts, Self Limiting Beliefs

Self-love is one of the first things I started learning almost six years ago when I walked through the doors of my very first AA meeting (it was March 30, 2012!). I grew up being told I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, yada yada yada. Hating myself, having no confidence, and low self-esteem resulted in a pretty messed up life – as if the mention of AA didn’t clue you in to that 😉

Anyways, one of the first things I was told at that meeting was “we will love you until you can love yourself.” It’s been a long journey and one I’ll never regret or wish to shut the door on because I’m such a different woman than I was when I walked through those doors six years ago! I still have days where I don’t like myself and all too often I still tend to put self-love and self-care on the back burner…but I’m a work in progress and always trying to get better at taking care of ME.

And that’s why I loved Ash Ambirge’s 24 Ways to Love Yourself Fiercely + Bravely—Even When You’re Feeling Like a Heaping Hot Mess post and highly recommend you take a couple minutes to go read it.

Note: if you’re not familiar with her, be warned – she likes the F word 😉

Pursuing Happiness in Three Steps

By Tish

Ever feel like, even though things in your life are good, you’re still not happy? I just had this conversation with a friend recently and was saying how I feel guilty that I feel so unhappy some days. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, amazing friends, wonderful family, my sobriety (I will be sober for 4 years on March 3rd, 2018!), a reliable car, fun clients, the ability to work anywhere because of my online businesses.

I literally have nothing to complain about or be unhappy about. But yet I often find myself thinking ‘I should be doing this and then I’d be happier’, ‘I’d be happier if I didn’t live here’, and the list goes on. But happiness doesn’t have anything to do with things! Being happy can’t be bought. According to the Ted talk Creating Your Owner’s Manual by Brit Reints, that I shared above, we can be happy and create a happiness manual and all it takes are three steps. I loved the Ted talk so much I watched it twice! Don’t just stop at the Ted Talk though, check out her website In Pursuit Of Happiness and read some of her blog posts!

Think You Can’t, Think Again

By Tish Tagged With: Self Limiting Beliefs

Ever find yourself muttering “I can’t?”

Sadly, I do all too often. If it’s not just “I can’t”, it’s “I can’t because I’m scared”. When it comes to being scared of doing something? That’s a pretty lame excuse. I mean lots of people choose to just take a leap and do something while they’re scared. That’s exactly what Jon Morrow did when he made the move to Mexico. Now that may not seem like such a big thing – people move to other countries (or states) all the time. But for Jon, who is wheel chair bound and can only move his face? Well, yeah it was a huge deal for him. But he did it and he did it scared.

Wow! Talk about a wake up call. This man has me feeling all the feels and wiping the tears. I really lost it when I read this one sentence:

You’re still breathing, my friend. That’s all it takes to stage a comeback.

But goodness, there are so many golden nuggets and wise words throughout his post. Here’s a little blurb that caught my attention too:

No matter how bad the situation, no matter how hopeless it seems, there is always an opportunity to turn it to your advantage. You just have to discipline yourself to spot the opening, and then find the courage to use it.

And here’s one more sentence I found powerful and full of impact:

No matter how impossible the situation seems, you’re never trapped. There are always options.

Good stuff! I highly recommend you take a few minutes now and head on over to his blog and read 7 Life Lessons from a Guy Who Can’t Move Anything but His Face! (Note – if you’re offended by cuss words, be warned there are some scattered throughout the post).